That's when I got how big of a movie star Arnold Schwarzenegger was. For over two decades, he was been the defacto iconic image as well as the living embodiment of an action film star. A literal part of pop film culture in his heyday. Everyone can name a famous Arnold film they really like. Predator. Commando. The Running Man. True Lies. The Terminator series.
Fast forward to the present. My friend Jason and I at his prodding went to see his alleged comeback film whose ironically metaphorical title could not have been more appropriate: The Last Stand. There was no lineup. The theatre was completely empty. If not for the three latecomers, Jason and I would've been the only two people watching the film. My but how far the mighty have fallen.
In the film, Arnold plays an aging sheriff who patrols the tiny Texas border town that is all that stands between justice and a clean getaway to Mexico for an infamous drug lord who is speeding towards the border in a souped up car.
The film actually wasn't that bad. It certainly wasn't great, but it wasn't bad. It was, however, one of the biggest mistakes ever committed to celluloid -- or rather, digital film. Every possible wrong decision that could be made for a film starring Arnold Schwarzenegger was made -- starting with the casting of Arnold himself.
Why? Because the main character of the film is a burned out former LA police drug task force officer who's seen too much and feels old and just wants some peace and quiet as the sheriff of a sleepy little town. That's Liam Neeson. That's Morgan Freeman. That's not Arnold "I'll be back" Schwarzenegger.
That's not a criticism of his acting skills, either. He actually did a very good acting job in the role. That's irrelevant. The audience that remembers him doesn't want to see him beaten down and worn out. They want to see him spout off one-liners while beating, shooting and blowing the shit out of bad guys, alien Predators and Terminator robots from the future.
What they didn't want to see Arnold literally proclaiming out loud "I'm old" as he does in this movie. That reminds the audience that remembers Arnold in his heyday that they're old too. (Um, please forget the bit above I wrote about seeing two of his biggest films in theatres please.) That tells the Twilight-loving audience that couldn't give a damn who he is and what type of film he is famous for that he is irrelevant to them.
Like I said, the film wasn't bad. It was extremely well-directed and co-stars Forest Whittaker -- a freakin' Best Actor Oscar winner! -- and Jaime Alexander as well as Arnold himself gave far greater acting performances than the film actually deserved. I am actually a bit of a fan of Alexander's and am sorry this film won't do more to help her career. She really does deserve to be a lead actress.
In case it wasn't clear from the tone of this blog entry, the film was a huge box-office bomb. It cost $45 million to make, opened the second week of January and made just $6.7 million on its opening weekend. By the end of its second week, it had plummeted to 16th place and made just $11 million at the North American box office according to the Box Office Mojo website.
I don't think this movie failed because it was a bad movie. I don't even think it failed because it was an "Arnold movie." I believe it failed because it was an Arnold movie done in 2013 that should've been done in his heyday in the 80's. And if it had, it probably would've been one of his biggest films ever.
But this is a new era. An era where Twi-hards and geeks now make up the core filmgoing audience. Harry Potter, Edward and Bella and The Avengers rule now. RIP Mr. Schwarzenegger. Your time has passed now and you have truly made your last stand.
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