Who Sank Universal Studio's Battleship?

Battleship is out in theatres this weekend. It's an actual honest to goodness big budget movie based upon the old Hasbro children’s game. The one where you call out points on  a grid and mark your hits and misses with red and white pegs. Someone -- well actually several people -- over at Universal Studios thought this was somehow a good enough idea for a $200 million budgeted film. Seriously.

Then they realized it wasn’t a very good idea at all. In fact, it was actually a really bad one. So they decided to make the film the naval equivalent of Transformers by making it about humans and their battleships against giant alien seafaring Transformers -- er, Battleships. Seriously.

Then they decided to follow the Michael Bay Transformers model of filmmaking by casting a hot but talentless swimsuit model instead of an actual competent actress as the female lead so they can show offer her cleavage, butt and legs while she thinks she’s showing off her acting chops. Plus some other male actors. And Rihanna. Seriously.

Then they decided they’d better put in some real actors and somehow got the great Alexander Skarsgard and the even greater LIAM freakin’ NEESON into the movie. Seriously.

Then they realized that with their inevitable horrid reviews (36% on Rotten Tomatoes as of this writing) and the North American opening still close to The Avengers that they would be crushed at the box office so they opened around the rest of the world first and amazingly managed to make $220 million worldwide and recover the movie’s budget so every  penny made stateside is now pure profit. Seriously.

Well the movie opened this past Thursday at midnight and earned a paltry $420,000 in North America which doesn’t bode well at all for its future as The Avengers is going to end up the number one North American movie for the third week in a row and looks to make a record $55 million in its third weekend, which would be yet another record-setter for the unstoppable superheroes. Both of these movies cost upwards of $200 million. The Avengers has already made a billion worldwide. Battleship will be lucky to pull in whatever profit it can this weekend and will sink right after.

Who sank your Battleship, Universal? Marvel’s The Avengers did.At lesat you have company in with Dark Shadows and The Dictator going down with you to the bottom of the box office ocean.

Oh Boy, Did They Ever Assemble...

May 7, 2012

In case you hadn’t heard yet on the news, Avengers made an astonishing $200 million estimated opening weekend, and when the final accurate numbers are released, it’s going to be higher than that. Much higher. The scary thing is that for all the presumptions that the John Carter debacle had literally lost Disney all the profit from The Avengers, the fact is that The Avengers will indeed blow away that $150 million writeoff loss because every single penny the movie makes from this day forward is pure profit as the $200 million budget has already been made. 

This weekend’s record, BTW, also leaves The Dark Knight, Harry Potter 7 Part 2, The Hunger Games and that Twilight piece of crap’s opening weekends in the dust. It also set the record for highest Saturday ever of $70 million in a single day and fastest ever to $200 million. It may also become the fastest to $1 billion depending on what the dropoff is like. 

I’ve gotta be honest, when I went to see it with the little nieces and nephews, we saw a 3:50 2D showing and the theatre was half full which shocked me. This led me to believe that Avengers would not be as big as I initially believed it would. However, we exited the show as the 7PM showings started and I noticed long lineups to get in. Now as for the film itself:

Avengers Re-Assembling...?

May 8, 2012

There is now talk that The Avengers is going to do another record by hauling in $100+ million in its second week of playing in theatres, which would be another new box-office record! Apparently, there were a LOT of people who couldn't make it into the showings this weekend. IMAX is reporting they literally didn't have enough seating capacity to meet demand on opening weekend just past. I can also personally vouch for this, as I spoke to people at my gym who told me that they literally could not get in to see it at more than one theatre during multiple tries over the weekend including trying for both matinees and weekends.

I'm thinking now my half-empty theatre in Montreal was a fluke because the French translation may have pulled in people away from English theaters as well.

OMFG! AVENGERS CUPCAKES!!!

I. Must. Make. These!!!!!!!

http://www.superherohype.com/gallery/the-avengers/gallery1988/142925-gallery19881

John Carter's Latest Victim -- Are The Avengers Next on His Hit List?

April 20, 2012

I wasn’t actually expecting this but after Disney’s chief marketing officer MT Carney was let go for the John Carter disaster, the sword next fell on the head of Disney Chairman Rich Ross today. Disney is now acknowledging that the film will end up being a $200 MILLION writeoff, far worse than the $100-150 million writeoff that was initially projected. All this despite the fact that it made $100+ million overseas and $68 million so far in the US.

Now comes The Avengers. Although “only” budgeted at $170, word is leaking out now that the real budget was anywhere from $220 to $260 million. Unlike Carter, however, there is no chance it won’t recoup that with a $160 million opening tracking that is likely to outdo the record just set by The Hunger Games. However, it’s going to have to do Avatar/The Dark Knight level money to undo the JC damage – and there is talk now that it may very well do just that.

The Next Avengers Villain

April 19, 2012

The next Avengers film villain has been revealed and it is exactly one of the only three possibilities it could have been: Thanos, the Mad Eternal and worshipper of Death.  The only other possibilities that were grandiose and powerful enough to translate to film were Korvac and Kang the Conqueror. I personally think they should’ve gone with Kang before Thanos but it’ll all be awesome regardless.

Avengers Tracking Now Higher than The Hunger Games and ....

April 16, 2012

With a mere two weeks to go to premiere week, The Avengers tracking has picked up substantially higher than The Hunger Games and, believe it or not… The Dark Knight Rises.

Now, this will likely change when we get closer to the release date of The Dark Knight Rises. But right now, Avengers is now looking at a $150 – 160 plus opening weekend.

Bet John Carter Wishes He Was On THIS Team...

April 12, 2012

This team of course being… The Avengers! Remember those tracking reports I told you showed that John Carter would bomb because no women wanted to see it at all and males were pissed off at the dropping of the “Of Mars” from the film’s title?

In complete contrast, The Avengers is tracking extremely well among women, proving that Marvel was smart to include the character of The Black Widow in the film series even though she is not part of the original Avengers. The Avengers is looking to make a $125 million weekend debut. At least. In reality, it’s looking to do a LOT more than that and could possibly even beat The Hunger Games’ insane $155 million weekend. The question is… can it beat record holder The Dark Knight’s $158 million opening weekend? Or will that honor go to the sequel to that film, The Dark Knight Rises?

Poor John Carter has scarcely scrounged up $66 million in North America and $100 million worldwide, which subtracted from its bloated $250 million plus all the marketing expenses still leaves Disney in the hole for over $100 million. While I previously thought the losses would eat away at the profits of The Avengers, it turns out now that The Avengers will more than make up for John Carter bombing.

Maybe John Carter should try astral projecting into Asgard instead of Barsoom. Then he’d have a hit. Maybe.

The Avengers Super Bowl Trailer

January 6, 2012

Did you see the Avengers trailer that premiered at the Super Bowl? If not, see the online one which is even better in high definition and has extra footage of Loki conversing with Tony Stark and the Incredible Hulk in action! Unlike, Loki, the Skrulls/Chitauri, and the Red Skull, this movie is so gonna succeed in ruling the entire world!!!