Who Sank Universal Studio's Battleship?

Battleship is out in theatres this weekend. It's an actual honest to goodness big budget movie based upon the old Hasbro children’s game. The one where you call out points on  a grid and mark your hits and misses with red and white pegs. Someone -- well actually several people -- over at Universal Studios thought this was somehow a good enough idea for a $200 million budgeted film. Seriously.

Then they realized it wasn’t a very good idea at all. In fact, it was actually a really bad one. So they decided to make the film the naval equivalent of Transformers by making it about humans and their battleships against giant alien seafaring Transformers -- er, Battleships. Seriously.

Then they decided to follow the Michael Bay Transformers model of filmmaking by casting a hot but talentless swimsuit model instead of an actual competent actress as the female lead so they can show offer her cleavage, butt and legs while she thinks she’s showing off her acting chops. Plus some other male actors. And Rihanna. Seriously.

Then they decided they’d better put in some real actors and somehow got the great Alexander Skarsgard and the even greater LIAM freakin’ NEESON into the movie. Seriously.

Then they realized that with their inevitable horrid reviews (36% on Rotten Tomatoes as of this writing) and the North American opening still close to The Avengers that they would be crushed at the box office so they opened around the rest of the world first and amazingly managed to make $220 million worldwide and recover the movie’s budget so every  penny made stateside is now pure profit. Seriously.

Well the movie opened this past Thursday at midnight and earned a paltry $420,000 in North America which doesn’t bode well at all for its future as The Avengers is going to end up the number one North American movie for the third week in a row and looks to make a record $55 million in its third weekend, which would be yet another record-setter for the unstoppable superheroes. Both of these movies cost upwards of $200 million. The Avengers has already made a billion worldwide. Battleship will be lucky to pull in whatever profit it can this weekend and will sink right after.

Who sank your Battleship, Universal? Marvel’s The Avengers did.At lesat you have company in with Dark Shadows and The Dictator going down with you to the bottom of the box office ocean.

The Rise and Fall of Grey's Anatomy -- A Season Eight Finale Post-Mortem

Well, the season eight finale of Grey’s Anatomy came and went exactly as I thought it would – Lexie Grey met her end in order to help pay for the renewed contracts of original series stars Patrick Dempsey, Ellen Pompeo, Chandra Wilson, Sandra Oh, James Picket Jr.,  and Justin Chambers. Thus, this once vibrant and iconic show is reduced to using the old “death of a main character” TV trope – again -- to gain publicity and ratings. My, how the mighty have fallen.

Once a must-see, talk about in the office the next morning type of show, Grey’s Anatomy has fallen from an astonishingly high 20 million+ viewers an episode in its initial seasons to an average of 11 million an episode. It also holds the distinction of being the single most DVR-ed American network show – which tellingly indicates it is no longer must-see TV for about half of its core audience anymore. So what brought this once-mighty TV titan down?

Castle: Always (S4.23) - Caskett Lives!

May 8, 2012

First off, interesting that the couple name actually has something to do with murder mysteries (Caskett = funeral casket). Just sayin’.

Second, that was half of a fantastic season finale. Oddly, just like The Avengers, the greatness from the characters interacting covered up a really thin plot but who really cares? It was great! So much to love in this finale:

·         “I’ve been waiting four years for you to see that I’m more than just a partner.” Swoon. Platonically, of course, ‘cause I’m a guy. A bro. A man’s man. Great speech.
·         The acting during the laying bare of the secrets. It could’ve easily been bombastic and over the top but instead it just all came out naturally
·         The kiss, of course, and the hand grabbing leading to the bedroom presumably
·         The split between Ryan and Esposito based solely on professional and completely valid differences of opinion and was totally believable; I liked that Ryan was the only voice of reason but the way he was acting made me wonder if his character had also been contacted like Castle and struck a deal to protect Kate
·         Gates justifiably giving Esposito and Beckett crap for withholding info and going off as rogue cowboys

Oh Boy, Did They Ever Assemble...

May 7, 2012

In case you hadn’t heard yet on the news, Avengers made an astonishing $200 million estimated opening weekend, and when the final accurate numbers are released, it’s going to be higher than that. Much higher. The scary thing is that for all the presumptions that the John Carter debacle had literally lost Disney all the profit from The Avengers, the fact is that The Avengers will indeed blow away that $150 million writeoff loss because every single penny the movie makes from this day forward is pure profit as the $200 million budget has already been made. 

This weekend’s record, BTW, also leaves The Dark Knight, Harry Potter 7 Part 2, The Hunger Games and that Twilight piece of crap’s opening weekends in the dust. It also set the record for highest Saturday ever of $70 million in a single day and fastest ever to $200 million. It may also become the fastest to $1 billion depending on what the dropoff is like. 

I’ve gotta be honest, when I went to see it with the little nieces and nephews, we saw a 3:50 2D showing and the theatre was half full which shocked me. This led me to believe that Avengers would not be as big as I initially believed it would. However, we exited the show as the 7PM showings started and I noticed long lineups to get in. Now as for the film itself:

Avengers Re-Assembling...?

May 8, 2012

There is now talk that The Avengers is going to do another record by hauling in $100+ million in its second week of playing in theatres, which would be another new box-office record! Apparently, there were a LOT of people who couldn't make it into the showings this weekend. IMAX is reporting they literally didn't have enough seating capacity to meet demand on opening weekend just past. I can also personally vouch for this, as I spoke to people at my gym who told me that they literally could not get in to see it at more than one theatre during multiple tries over the weekend including trying for both matinees and weekends.

I'm thinking now my half-empty theatre in Montreal was a fluke because the French translation may have pulled in people away from English theaters as well.

OMFG! AVENGERS CUPCAKES!!!

I. Must. Make. These!!!!!!!

http://www.superherohype.com/gallery/the-avengers/gallery1988/142925-gallery19881

The End of 35 mm Films, Bad 3D and 24 Frames Per Second

April 25, 2012

Some really interesting news coming out of the cinema world:

·         20^th Century Fox formally announced at CinemaCon it will only distribute digitally from this point forward around the entire world. No more 35 mm prints from the studio ever. The other major US studios will likely soon follow suit
·         Peter Jackson officially unveiled 48 FPS film with unfinished clips from The Hobbit and universal reaction is that it is the cinematic equivalent of what you see on HDTVs playing at Best Buy: it makes movies no longer look like “film” but like a live HDTV sports broadcast. i.e. it looks better on the screen than it actually does live with crystal clear clarity and super saturated color to the point of actually being disturbing. There have been some reactions saying that it completely breaks the illusion standard 24 FPS film provides but you have to remember that it will take filmmakers a while to adjust sets, props, makeup, etc. to compensate for this. I fully expect this to become the new standard for filming
·         Jackson also unveiled a 3D test using 48 FPS film and the difference is reported to be astonishing, completely resolving every complaint about current 3D film whether it is upconverted or natively filmed

The future is here, cinemagoers. Film has finally bit the big one.

John Carter's Latest Victim -- Are The Avengers Next on His Hit List?

April 20, 2012

I wasn’t actually expecting this but after Disney’s chief marketing officer MT Carney was let go for the John Carter disaster, the sword next fell on the head of Disney Chairman Rich Ross today. Disney is now acknowledging that the film will end up being a $200 MILLION writeoff, far worse than the $100-150 million writeoff that was initially projected. All this despite the fact that it made $100+ million overseas and $68 million so far in the US.

Now comes The Avengers. Although “only” budgeted at $170, word is leaking out now that the real budget was anywhere from $220 to $260 million. Unlike Carter, however, there is no chance it won’t recoup that with a $160 million opening tracking that is likely to outdo the record just set by The Hunger Games. However, it’s going to have to do Avatar/The Dark Knight level money to undo the JC damage – and there is talk now that it may very well do just that.

The Next Avengers Villain

April 19, 2012

The next Avengers film villain has been revealed and it is exactly one of the only three possibilities it could have been: Thanos, the Mad Eternal and worshipper of Death.  The only other possibilities that were grandiose and powerful enough to translate to film were Korvac and Kang the Conqueror. I personally think they should’ve gone with Kang before Thanos but it’ll all be awesome regardless.

Castle: Headhunters (S4.21)

April 17, 2012

Absolutely my favorite episode of the show so far. So well done on so many levels. Moved plot forward, moved characterization forward, a great new possibly recurring character and a decent and tragic mystery although the ending was a little too pat. Let’s look at all the great points:

·         Ethan Slaughter was a blast. Played perfectly by Adam, he was both a parody and an homage to all the stereotypical tough guy cops seen on TV and the movies and still managed to add something new. yet he had a great brain underneath. The practical jokes he pulled on Castle were great. When he coerces the confession out of the kid for all the wrong reasons, it added a very dark side to him like Vic from The Shield (another homage) and I was wondering if they would pull the trigger and make him a nemesis but I was actually glad he turned out to be a good cop in the end who does listen to reason and was in on the final interrogation. I really, really want to see him back on Castle.
·         Character wise, I love how he allows Castle to do everything Beckett won’t let him but then you slowly realize he’s actually just throwing Castle to the wolves and this is likely why his other three partners died.
·         The brown leather coat Castle offers Slaughter to allow him to ride along. They were both “Browncoats.” Not sure if that was intentional or not or how much of it flew over the heads of the audience. It was a lot more subtle that the episode where he tries on the Mal Reynolds Firefly costume for Halloween but just as funny if you picked it up.
·         Nathan’s physical comedy was great when he tried to stop the fleeing suspect in the bar while Slaughter looks on and snacks on popcorn. We know he can do fight choreography decently from watching Firefly and Serenity so it was fun to see him act out as the physical bumbler while still taking the suspect down
·         I love how Slaughter says all the obvious things that any other normal person would ask of Castle like “You’re tapping that, right?” when referring to Beckett. That would be what most people would normally think  as only on a TV show would people like these not end up together already
·         The bit where Slaughter asks Castle to testify on his behalf in front of the board in the car while using excessive force was both frightening and hilarious at the same time
·         And of course, love how Beckett conveniently had Castle’s back (and by proxy, Slaughter’s as well) for the investigation and comes in at the end but doesn’t steal the spotlight from Slaughter and Castle at the final interrogation

It’s very interesting that they’re doing all these “team-up” episodes with new characters who could actually be leads in other shows if done right. Basically, I loved the fact that they didn’t royally screw this up by making Slaughter a true baddie as they did with Sophia Turner. I still ache over the loss of her character, but both Slaughter and The Limey were handled very well. Both of these guys should come back.

Avengers Tracking Now Higher than The Hunger Games and ....

April 16, 2012

With a mere two weeks to go to premiere week, The Avengers tracking has picked up substantially higher than The Hunger Games and, believe it or not… The Dark Knight Rises.

Now, this will likely change when we get closer to the release date of The Dark Knight Rises. But right now, Avengers is now looking at a $150 – 160 plus opening weekend.

Cabin In The Woods and Anti-Spoilers Resulting In Spoilers?

April 13, 2012

Hmmmm….

Just as like when the Sixth Sense came out, there are so many gleeful reviews of Cabin in the Woods gleefully begging you not to ruin the surprise for yourself and proudly proclaiming themselves to be spoiler free that they set the wheels turning and I have finally figured out what the twist in the movie is.

Don’t worry, not spoiling anything here. It’s just funny that this is happening again. The Sixth Sense reviews all made reference to the awesome twist at the end and one that specifically referenced Bruce Willis’ “somnambulistic” -- and that’s an exact quote still burned into my mind because it allowed me to figure it out – performance enabled to figure out he was a ghost himself without having seen the movie. I told this to my then roommate who went and saw it with his girlfriend and he realized just before the reveal that I was right. As a result, he was the only person in the audience not to gasp out loud.

This said, I now realize that any true Whedonite who thinks long and hard about this and all the genre work Joss Whedon has done will be able to figure this sucker out. We’ll see if I’m right later tonight.

Bet John Carter Wishes He Was On THIS Team...

April 12, 2012

This team of course being… The Avengers! Remember those tracking reports I told you showed that John Carter would bomb because no women wanted to see it at all and males were pissed off at the dropping of the “Of Mars” from the film’s title?

In complete contrast, The Avengers is tracking extremely well among women, proving that Marvel was smart to include the character of The Black Widow in the film series even though she is not part of the original Avengers. The Avengers is looking to make a $125 million weekend debut. At least. In reality, it’s looking to do a LOT more than that and could possibly even beat The Hunger Games’ insane $155 million weekend. The question is… can it beat record holder The Dark Knight’s $158 million opening weekend? Or will that honor go to the sequel to that film, The Dark Knight Rises?

Poor John Carter has scarcely scrounged up $66 million in North America and $100 million worldwide, which subtracted from its bloated $250 million plus all the marketing expenses still leaves Disney in the hole for over $100 million. While I previously thought the losses would eat away at the profits of The Avengers, it turns out now that The Avengers will more than make up for John Carter bombing.

Maybe John Carter should try astral projecting into Asgard instead of Barsoom. Then he’d have a hit. Maybe.

Castle: The Limey (S4.20)

April 3, 2012

Great episode prepping for Sweeps in May and a cliffhanger to our “Will they or won’t they?” I liked our Limey detective as much as I liked Sophia and it was great that they did the same switcheroo this season. The mystery was interesting and not necessarily illogical like some of them. Of course, the big deal is the moving forward/backward of the status quo in the Castle/Beckett relationship. Again, the fact that much of this is plausible allows us to disbelieve the “They’re still not together?” routine.

The only small complaint I had was the implication that Castle was a womanizer by Laney. It has already been established that he has an active love life and 3 marriages, but by the same token he doesn’t sleep around and actually tries to make a go of relationships with the women he has had sex with. He’s not exactly a one-night stand type of guy despite his wealth and celebrity. Otherwise he’d be a crime solving basketball player, not a crime solving mystery author. So where the “He’s changed his womanizing ways” dialogue between Laney and Beckett was coming from is beyond me.

What I’m really enjoying about the last few episodes is that they also haven’t touched the mother’s murder conspiracy garbage as the dividing wedge between them. It’s actually based upon their feelings towards each other and the decisions they and they alone have made. God, I hope they wrap that silly storyline because it’s as annoying  as the whole X-File grand conspiracy was and will probably turn out just as lame.

Castle: A Dance With Death (S4.18), 47 Seconds (S4.19)

March 27, 2012

Nice of ABC to put on two new Castles in April outside of Sweeps. They were both very good episodes too as a whole, even if their individual parts were a little weak.

I liked last week’s mystery of the stripper who stole the dead woman’s identity not for any criminal intent, but simply to start her life over and live out her dream as a dancer. The fact that the real woman turned out to be both a crook and a murderer was a little too close to the new TV series Ringer but I could let that one go. I also appreciated the fact that the money/manager murderer killed her not so much to cover up his crime, but the fact that he was incensed that this woman was “insulting” the memory of his loved one. That was actually totally plausible and very true to how twisted a man’s thinking is sometimes.

The bits with Esposito and Ryan were also great, especially the part where after thinking his wedding ring is a woman repellant, Ryan puts a ring on Esposito and finds out it’s a chick MAGNET. It’s actually him that’s the problem! :D That was great and of course it was sweet that the real reasoning was that Ryan gives off the happily engaged to be married vibe which is why women stay away from him.

Last night’s episode with the riff on the Occupy movement was also really well done. The mystery was cool and they way they went about recreating everything in order to solve it was extremely well done and I liked how they tied it thematically to the characters, like a crime version of a Grey’s Anatomy (I really used to love that show…) episode.

There were a ton of great personal moments. The scene with Martha telling Castle to man up with Beckett but be prepared to move on if she’s a no-go was great. Alexis’ “breakup or Dancing With the Stars elimination” pancakes. Castle talking to Beckett about missed opportunities right before they’re interrupted. Castle listening on the other side of the glass without Beckett realizing it and the followup he has with Martha afterwards believing that Beckett must not have the same feelings for him.

I must admit, this was a pretty clever and completely plausible way of extending the “will they or won’t they” thread by setting up Castle’s willingness to “move on”. Preview for next episode looks to play up on this by giving Castle a new rival for Beckett’s affections.

The Raid: Redemption

March 13, 2012

You know, of course, that we have to see The Raid: Redemption. Right? An Irish directed and written Indoensian martial arts action flick? I’m so there.

John Carter and Icewine: What do They Have in Common?

March 9, 2012

Just as I singlehandedly support the Canadian icewine industry, so too will JC have to singlehandedly support Disney’s live action division. John Carter did the traditional blockbuster midnight showings and scored less than $500,000 in ticket sales. A $250 million budgeted movie made less than half a million on its first nightly showing.

By comparison, Thor did $3.5 million, Captain America: The First Avenger did $4 million and Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 did an incredible $32 million.

I think this film will be the kiss of death for several careers, including Andrew Stanton’s and Taylor Kitsch’s. We already know the Disney marketing people are toast.

The Lone Ranger.... and Tonto?!?

March 8, 2012

What do you guys make of this: Armie Hammer and Johnny Depp as the Lone Ranger and Tonto:

No, this is no joke. Disney is doing this and Gore Verbinski is directing. It’s actually cool they’re redoing The Lone Ranger – but despite being part Cherokee, Depp really doesn’t look Native American even though his costume is great. If anything, I take more issue with Hammer’s costume being a simple suit with a sheriff’s badge and lacking the traditional blue/red classic motif of the Ranger.

Trailer Divulges Ending? No Problem Says Research

March 5, 2012

So I did have a look at the CBC movie trailer article and here’s the interesting thing about it: the truth is that both giving away the plot points and not giving them away in the trailer work equally well. The key is not to give away CRUCIAL plot points.

Whether people want to admit it or not, spoilers do not stop people from seeing movies and in fact encourage them to see it. It doesn’t matter if they got the spoilers from reading the book, seeing the first filmed adaptation, the movie trailer, discussing it with people or reading a summary online.  It has actually been proven that online piracy of films actually makes people pay to see them again in theatres and I would think seeing the entire movie itself is one pretty damn  big spoiler!

The argument is flawed in that it’s not giving away plot points in the trailer that is the issue. The issue is whether you’re going to give away CRUCIAL plot points or not. If you see a trailer with Sylvester Stallone kicking ass for The Expendables, it’s probably not a shock that he and the Expendables kill all the bad guys and win the day at the end. Nor is it surprising that Tom Hanks lives at the end of Castaway.  Hell, it’s not even a problem that you give away the fact that Tim Robbins really is a psycho terrorist in Arlington Road.

But it IS a problem if you give away the fact that Tim Robbins WINS at the end of Arlington Road; that she is really a he in The Crying Game; or that Bruce Willis is actually a ghost in The Sixth Sense. If you were to give those away, then nobody would bother to see those movies at all. Those are crucial plot points upon which their movies actually hinge and if you gave them away the show’s over.

Arlington Road is a very interesting example to pick for the article because the author completely missed his own point when choosing this movie. The trailer does give away the fact that Robbins is evil but it actually hides very important and crucial plot points.  In case you weren’t aware, the movie was a box office bomb as the audiences were revolted by the fact that evil Tim Robbins not only kills heroic Jeff Bridges, he successfully sets him up as the bad guy so he dies in disgrace AND keeps Bridges’ son whom he kidnapped earlier at the end of the movie. Had any or all of these been hinted at in the trailer, I guarantee the movie would’ve made even less money than it did. The studio couldn’t do that so they had to a standard good guy vs bad guy trailer but then this was a complete fraud perpetrated on the audience as to the movie they were promised by the trailer.  Once word spread about the movie, the box office tanked.

Movie marketing is tough. You’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. But the same rule still applies: you can give away as many plot points as you want in the trailer as long as they are not the ones the movie actually hinges upon. Look at the Avengers and  the The Dark Knight Rises trailers. Though they appear to give most everything away, they are not giving away crucial plot points that matter so the audience knows what it is getting but is still prevented from being spoiled even when the public already suspects what they are.  We still don’t know exactly who or what is helping Loki conquer Earth and battle the Avengers (spoiler: The Avengers win!) and who is behind Bane and Catwoman’s efforts to destroy Gotham once and for all (spoiler: Batman wins!) So the audience will go to see them even though we already know the endings and most of the plot points.

So I agree with Zemeckis on this one: you do whatever you have to do to get people to see your movie even if it means giving plot points away. Just don’t give away the really important ones, the money shot plot points as they were.

Castle: Once Upon a Crime (S4.17)

February 28, 2012

Hmmm. Mixed feelings about this episode. Lots of charming parts to the episode which had nothing to do with the mystery at all. The actual mystery was pretty hard for me to swallow even given that this is Castle.

·         I loved the whole one-woman play on Martha’s life with its exaggerations and how she made Castle out to have ruined her life only for her to realize how great it was to be a mother. Awww…. Until she said he could be a much better son which was hilarious
·         Loved the bit about Ryan being afraid of dolls ever since Chucky
·         Yes, there is such a thing as fairytale fetish, sad to say. Google, some things are better left unknown

·         Now to the mystery itself. As soon as Castle said its “I Know What You Did Last Summer” I knew one of the girls was the killer. It’s never a good idea to reference another fictional plot because it can only go one of two ways: an identical plot or the exact reverse
·         Now Castle always has whacked out murders and mysteries, but I’ve never had a hard time swallowing any of them until now. I get that evil Charlotte was trying to save herself by killing her friends so nobody could tell what really happened the night Owen died, but there were two fatal flaws to her plan: If she kills off her friends, only she is left to pay the blackmail which is more of a burden on her but even more importantly if the blackmailer were caught everything comes completely undone. So why would she work so hard to set up the blackmailer and thus speed up her own undoing?

This was really the only time a Castle mystery made me go “Huh?” The killer’s motive made sense but her actions didn’t. In comparison, when the drug dealer killed the junkie to set up the cop that was a real life superhero, that made sense because even if she were caught, she wouldn’t be able to bring about his downfall. In this week’s case, the actions and motives were similar but the blackmail angle kind of messes it up.

Oh well. Out of this sweeps batch, I have to say the episode I enjoyed most was the dog trainer murder episode. And FYI, ratings-wise Castle is more than holding its own against Hawaii Five-0 and Smash and the horrid Alcatraz.

84th Annual Oscars Notes

February 27, 2012

A relatively middle of the pack Oscars. Not the best show but certainly not the worst and just what was needed after the awful Franco/Hathaway job last year. Some thoughts and some useless info you need to know:

·         I almost puked seeing Justin Bieber in the opening film. And no, the joke about him attracting the young demographic did not justify it. It was as bad as CSI casting him as a serial killer
·         The only thing worse than that was seeing Oprah Winfrey given the Academy’s Humanitarian award. That was absolutely disgusting
·         Billy Crystal was insanely good and gracious as a host but awful as a monologuist. However, this was the fault of his writers. As Jason says, the guy sells everything like it’s genius and makes it look like its his own fault a written joke bombed instead of the real person who is responsible. True class. His written jokes were bombing badly but once he was improvising (“I’ve never had those feelings.”) he was great. The guy really should lay off of the Botox though.
·         I didn’t  realize it until this morning: while I recognized Catherine O’Hara in the “Wizard of Oz test audience” skit, I failed to connect that the entire skit was a Second City/SCTV reunion!
·         Jason and I loved the vignettes in which each nominee for every single category spoke about their film and their craft. All of these were directed, BTW, by Moneyball director Bennett Miller
·         By far, the best year I can recall in seemingly forever in terms of acceptance speeches filled with grace and heartfelt emotion. As Jason said, it was the non-actors who gave surprisingly excellent speeches but the actors were pretty good this year as well.
·         Not sure you guys were aware, but there was a double meaning to Jean Dujardin’s great joke at the opening of his acceptance speech (“I love your country!”) – he LOST Best Actor at the Cesars, France’s version of the Oscars
·         Cameron Diaz and Jennifer Lopez should be shot dead and have their leathery hides hung on the rafters of the Oscar theatre for the entire world to see. And despite what Diaz thinks, the audience was not jeering because it wasn’t funny – they were jeering because it was pretentious and classless and arrogant
·         Sandra Bullock, Chris Rock and Emma Stone were awesome. I don’t think people quite realize that Stone was, believe it or not, a singing reality show contestant before she hit it big as an actress. Yep, she was one of the contestants for the New Patridge Family and won! The proposed new show, however, was never actually made
·         I was utterly shocked that Robert Downey Jr. was so off in his live comic timing. I think the guy benefits more from film editing and direction that people realize or will admit
·         So sad to see just TWO songs nominated for an Oscar. Remember the days when movie soundtracks actually sold entire albums and you could count on movie theme songs hitting the Top 10 on a regular basis?
·         The cost to make Best Picture nominee Hugo was $200 million plus. The cost to make Best Picture Winner The Artist was $30 million. Interestingly, both are doing badly at the box office! Hugo has made a mere $70 million at the box office and The Artist has only just broken even at costing and making $30 million. The Help is the most successful nominee at a cost of $25 million and making $167 million

Castle: Linchpin (S4.16)

February 21, 2012

My God, but that conclusion made absolute zero sense. I was right about Gage not truly being a bad guy but that didn’t help make the conclusion any more enjoyable. It was designed to do nothing more than shock with twists – however illogical – with absolutely no regard to the reality of the characters (well, as real as the fictional reality of Castle is). In fact, the entire episode played out disturbing similar to a typically bad episode of one of the most hokey and overrated TV shows of the last decade, 24. They even got the “GASP! There’s a mole in the CIA!” cliché in.

Because the writers had clearly planned for it to be Sofia all along, they had the dilemma of making her extremely likeable for the majority of the two parter and then having to turn her quickly. Unfortunately, with the majority of the time spent making her both likeable and a foil for Beckett, they had absolutely no seeds planted for a believable turn and delivering the line in Russia about  the USA not really being her country was absolutely awful. Making things worse was that Beckett and Castle didn’t save themselves, but had to rely on the deux ex machina of Sofia’s set up partner who up until then was nothing but Mr. Exposition saving them at the last moment. That was awful convenient. May as well have just named him Jack Bauer.

On top of everything else, they completely blew off the effects of seeing this woman who Rick once loved killed right before him after revealing she’s a traitor. Aside from the forlorn look Nathan brought to it, there was nothing to even hint how it must’ve torn him up inside. Making it worse was that whole speech at the end about how the character he based upon her was really more like Beckett. Huh?

I really and truly cannot comprehend the complete waste of Sofia’s character. This had a great potential for recurring and her turn as the true villain was hokey and completely unbelieveable, though it was partly because of the great job Jennifer Beals did as Sofia. I was actually rooting for her and Castle to get it on again when she showed up on his couch.

In fact, she was the only thing I enjoyed about the episode. The scene where she gives Castle and Beckett shit and then shows up in Castle’s apartment were fantastic. I really believed there was a long complicated history between them and she had fantastic chemistry with Nathan, to the point where I was thinking I would love to see the prequel show with them in it. I also have to say that Jennifer Beals looked unbelieveably stunning. No way you would guess that she is 50 watching these episodes. She just oozed sex appeal.

Truly, truly awful stuff with the exception of a great performance by Beals as Sofia. Ah well. At least we’re going back to the fun episodes next week. 

....

There’s also a lot of positive standard Net recaps of this conclusion. I don’t get it at all. I do think the little bit Sophia dropped about Rick’s father possibly being CIA was an interesting little nugget, however.

I am sensing the same problem with Castle that I caught on to with the X-Files – they clearly have no idea where their main conspiracy storyline is headed and are writing as they go instead of completely mapping them out beforehand. Therefore, they have to throw other stuff in to keep the series going and Rick’s father plotline (an obvious mirror for Beckett’s mother plotline) is “the other stuff.” As with the X-Files, it’s always the one-off episodes that are more entertaining because they’re free of baggage. Like you, it won’t stop me from watching but definitely makes me a bit wary.

The other thing I find surprising that they don’t capitalize on enough is that Castle is a celebrity and that brings certain perks and abilities with it that could be entertaining if used properly in the series. And I don’t mean a book signing scene where Beckett shows up in a super hot dress, either. I mean a long overdue episode set at a comic convention or a mystery writers convention where a fellow mystery writer is murdered and the only others suspects are mystery writers.

2012's First Big 3-D Movie Is Here!!!

February 17, 2012

It’s here, the first big 3D movie to arrive in 2012 after Martin Scorsese proved that 3D is a viable live-action filmmaking tool and medium in the hands of the right filmmaker! And that 3D film is... Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance! With only a mere 10% positive rating on Rotten Tomatoes!

Ah well, let’s face it, we all know 2D movies are infinitely better when it comes to concepts, action, plot and characters, like the one opening this weekend… This Means War! With only a mere 20% positive rating on Rotten Tomatoes!

Oops. Ah yeah, I think I will be staying in this weekend and watching some Blu-Rays….

John Carter To Get Creamed by... The Hunger Games?!?

February 16, 2012

Yo Fellow Film Lovers,

Remember the whole debate of “Why did they remove the ‘Of Mars’ from John Carter” when we saw the trailer? That may well turn out to be the least of Disney’s problems on this gargantuan film.  I am coming across very interesting reports that John Carter is rapidly turning into an absolute marketing disaster for Disney. Tracking reports, if you care for such things, are apparently indicating that ZERO percent of the polled femalegoing movie audience wants to see this film. Literally zero. They’re all apparently holding out for The Hunger Games two weeks later.

Even worse, however, is that apparently the tracking shows that less than 50% of men want to see the film! :O The removal of the ‘Of Mars’ has apparently made those aware of the property very wary of what Disney has done with this as a whole. Further, very few people, if anyone not known to be a Serial Diner, are even aware that Andrew Stanton is directing this. Disney is also pretty much lying about the film’s budget, claiming it is a “standard” $100 million blockbuster when in fact it may have well cost $250 million+.

Adding insult to injury, more men as well as women want to see The Hunger Games, which has gotten a far better marketing job by much smaller and heavily embattled Lionsgate which was fending a hostile takeover bid while having to market their film!  For example, Taylor Swift’s soundtrack contribution is already out and climbing the music charts raising awareness even though the film doesn’t open until March 23^rd. Needless to say, awareness is much higher.

One report I read says Disney is so scared of how badly this will do that it is possible that the writeoff they will have to take if it bombs – and it is almost guaranteed now that it will -- will negate any and all domestic profits from the forthcoming The Avengers when you take in all the financial reports for the entire 2012 financial year into consideration.

The female marketing exec in charge of Disney while all this was going on was named M.T. Carney. She previously had ZERO experience in movie marketing and apparently less with genre because it was her idea to drop the “Of Mars” from the title.  Her former job was as head of marketing for Ogilvy’s. This is who they put in charge of getting John Carter out there to the public? Needless to say, Disney has let her go. Why you would hire a cosmetics marketer to steer a male-oriented action film in the first place is beyond me.

So if you sci-fi loving, 3D surround sound hating luddite movie fans want to see John Carter, I suggest we see it fairly soon after opening because it’s gonna be gone very quickly, I imagine.

Castle: Pandora (S4.15)

February 14, 2012

Fun episode to this week’s Castle but a little underdeveloped. I really wanted to see more of Sophia hanging around Castle out in the field to really push Beckett’s buttons. Perhaps next episode?

Also, the two –parters are now starting to show a very predictable pattern: major conspiracy crime, place Beckett and Castle in mortal danger, bring them close to the brink of admitting true feelings before the inevitable cop-out.

In regards to the plot, it’s got an interesting Macguffin in the lynchpin and an interesting “villain” in Gage. We of course have to wait for the whole thing to settle out, but here’s the major plot issue I have: Gage, who we know has killed at least one person in cold blood (the CIA agent) and is implied to have killed two others didn’t kill Castle and Beckett when he could’ve easily done so and gotten away with it. Regardless of the fact that you can’t obviously kill your two leads, this is the move of a.) Someone who is actually NOT a or b.) A really bad lazy writer who couldn’t be bothered to deal with such a large gaping plot hole if Gage turns out to truly be a villain.

So here’s what I am thinking where this might be going:

1)      Gage did not actually kill McGrath or the Professor. We’re led to presume that he did but this is not necessarily so.
2)      Gage is actually a good guy trying to prevent the lynchpin from being used which is why McGrath helped him in the taxi and was not necessarily a hostage in the truest sense of the word.
3)      The actual bad guys of our story are actually…. The CIA! Dun Dun Dun! I don’t know if they’ll have the balls to actually make Sophia Turner herself into a villain which would really mess Castle up bad, but I’m guessing the reason Gage is rogue is because he knows someone in the CIA wants to use the lynchpin to bring the good ol’ USA down and he’s trying to prevent it. Therefore, I think the CIA actually killed McGrath and the Professor and nudged Castle and Beckett in the water which despite what the show is trying to convey, is actually a pretty easily survivable situation.
4)      I think Gage did in fact kill the CIA guy from the opener but that’s because he was likely a bad CIA guy trying to bring him in.

So what’s your theory?

The Amazing Spider-Man trailer

Febuary 7, 2012

Check out the new The Amazing Spider-Man trailer. They have absolutely nailed down the feel of the 1970s Stan Lee/Gerry Conway/John Romita Spider-Man from the comics and director Marc Webb has definitely given it a 1970’s Taxi Driver kind of look which is very appropriate for the NYC that Spider-Man operates in. Moreover, they seem to be hinting that they are indeed going to have the balls to do the deaths of Captain George Stacy and Gwen Stacy which if they did go through with would lend this new trilogy far more emotional weight than the Sam Raimi Spider-Man trilogy. It would be interesting to see if they actually do go through with it.

You can argue that it’s unnecessary and Sony is only doing this to keep the rights to the character, but they also appear to be putting their best foot forward with the effort as the trailer shows and I think this movie will take a lot of people by surprise. Can’t wait for this year’s Summer of the Superhero repeat of the great 2008 summer for movies.

The Avengers Super Bowl Trailer

January 6, 2012

Did you see the Avengers trailer that premiered at the Super Bowl? If not, see the online one which is even better in high definition and has extra footage of Loki conversing with Tony Stark and the Incredible Hulk in action! Unlike, Loki, the Skrulls/Chitauri, and the Red Skull, this movie is so gonna succeed in ruling the entire world!!!

Castle Promo

January 19, 2012

Go to YouTube and search for Castle TV Guide shoot to see Nathan Fillion and especially Stana Katic at their absolute sexiest if you haven’t seen it already.

You’re welcome.

Castle: Till Death Do Us Part (S4.11), Dial M for Mayor (S4.12)

January 17, 2012

Just chiming in on the last two Castle’s. Very big contrast between the two. The one with the Casanova/industrial espionage was a very fun episode. Had it not been for the fact that I saw an episode of CSI Miami in its first year that had exactly the same plot and even the exact same resolution in its first year, this would have been a killer episode for me. Look, I made a funny! J 

In contrast, this week’s episode was a huge letdown for a number of reasons. The first is that they didn’t have the balls to make the Mayor actually the bad guy which would’ve been a game changer. The second is that they brought in the Beckett conspiracy plot thread complete with the Chain Smoking Man—er, the Mysterious Caller. This is the same problem that the X-Files suffered from: the buildup to the conspiracy was so vast and ominous that  the power of the conspirators was vastly out of proportion to the reason for the conspiracy itself which led to a “WTF? That’s it?!?” resolution for that series. I’m afraid Castle is veering dangerously close to this situation to the point where I am 100% certain that the writers made the same mistake Chris Carter did in not actually plotting out the conspiracy first and making it up as they went along.

There were a couple of very bright points, however. The new Captain showed quite a bit of integrity and character in her office scene with Beckett. Lots of respect for her there. The background of the victim and the constant twists and turns in who she actually turned out to be were pretty brilliant. She actually deserved a better story to be put into. And amazingly, Rick actually used his WRITING SKILL to solve the mystery by cluing into the “inciting incident” as the start and end of everything. Lastly, I completely bought the relationship between the Mayor and Rick. If you didn’t buy their friendship, you wouldn’t buy Rick’s lack of objectivity and the two actors really did great in bringing it to life.

Now, next week’s episode looks hilarious with a dog show murder and Beckett looking absolutely STUNNING in the preview going undercover as the stuffy show dog owner/contestant. That’s the absolute sexiest Stana Katic has looked on this show since the episode where she pretended to be Russian to save Rick’s life from the Russian mobster. The actual shot of her entrance reminded me of the shot of Rick made up as the Elvis impersonator. I’m sure it was no coincidence. I still question her chemistry a bit with Fillion but there is no denying she is a beautiful actress.

Castle: Kill Shot (S4.09)

November 22, 2011

Me have mucho mixed feelings on this week’s Castle. I loved what they did with Esposito’s character, really made him a badass. I also loved how Ryan counseled Castle on what to do and that they actually put Castle in a position where he actually didn’t know what to do. He isn’t a psychiatrist, after all.

The major issue I had was with the episode’s portrayal of PTSD. I know Stana was trying, but the way it was written and directed was patently absurd and clearly done by people whose only knowledge of PTSD is what they read on the Internet. Basically, it was the sanitized cheesy TV clean version of PTSD, conveniently leaving out the fact that PTSD sufferers often represent a danger to themselves and those close to them and are essentially suffering from a mental illness that has been forced unto them.

Let me give you a comparison. I studied a real case of cop PTSD many eons ago that was truly tragic: a white cop shot and killed an 11 year old black boy in Harlem because he believed the boy was going to shoot him and his partner with a gun because he saw a gleam in the moonlight as the boy reached for something in his pocket. The gleaming “gun” turned out to be the silver wrapper of a pack of gum. I’m not saying we should have Beckett shoot innocent young black boys but it would have been nice to see her really lose it on a criminal and unload on him. There should’ve been a point where Castle and Ryan and Esposito and even the new Captain should’ve been considering removing her from her JOB, not just this case.

And the lame-o villain was even worse. What a complete walking caricature. I lost my leg so now I go after happy people. Good Lord, that was stupid. How did they expect this to stand up when you could easily research the last sniper in the US and see what a truly twisted guy that was. Instead, they tried to make him sympathetic and tie him into Beckett’s situation which only made everything stupider. Just terrible all the way around. At least Esposito got to take him out in a cool scene.

And then, to really insult our intelligence, Beckett is all nice and good again. Geez, even Grey’s freakin’ Anatomy managed to get the portrayal of true PTSD right with Dr. Owen’s character over the course of several episodes and that was at least two years ago. Don’t the Castle writers at least watch their fellow ABC shows?

Bond Title Confirmed

November 3, 2011

Confirmed this morning: Bond 23 will be titled Skyfall and Javier Bardem locked in as the villain, possibly as the rebooted Blofeld in charge of QUANTUM, not the outdated SMERSH. Budget will be $230 million, substantially more than the action-driven but light on story and character Quantum of Solace.

Castle: Cops & Robbers (S4.07)

November, 1, 2011

Really REALLY good episode that really showcased how far both Beckett and Castle have come along skillwise, with her able to adjust to a hostage situation and Castle not only deftly communicating with the outside but figuring that something was not quite kosher with the bank robbery. So much good stuff here with a great mystery. They had to lighten up the comedy but still got in a good one with Ryan andd Esposito. My thoughts:

·         The crime was brilliant. What would be more valuable than an actual vault full of money or a safety deposit box full of valuables? Custody of a child. What’s more priceless than your own kid?
·         The resolution, however, was not. I found it tough to swallow the idea of a professional merc team not being smart enough to check their own timed explosives but I could let that one go for the sake of the overall plot
·         Very brave and a bit more realistic NOT to have Beckett and Castle be a part of the final apprehending team and just having to wait things out
·         Now THIS was a mastermind criminal, unlike last week’s crooked murdering cop. His elaborate plot actually made sense and you did believe he might actually get away with this one, unlike last week’s non-loonie who really should’ve been a loonie. Loved how he went from first verbally attacking Castle, to “working with him” on “spying” on the “robbers,” to finally “panicking” and actually using Castle’s own sympathy and brains against him to get himself out of the bank with the faked epilepsy attack. Now this guy proved himself the equal if not better than Castle and that’s a good villain.
·          It was also great how he adjusted for Castle’s presence which he couldn’t have obviously planned for beforehand by attacking him for “calling the cops” which gets the unknowing bank employees to put him in his place. Using suspension of disbelief there, but it still makes him an awesome villain
·         I loved the bit in the apartment where Ryan comes up with crazy theories and Esposito accuses him of being “Castle Jr.” only for Ryan to turn around and accuse him of being “Supercop” when Esposito takes Beckett’s more grounded approach
·         Loved the look between Castle and Beckett that was interrupted by Martha. They didn’t play as much on the “I could lose him” that I thought they would but it was more than enough
·         FINALLY they ended the stupid Ashley storyline. Way overdue.

Looks like we’re back to comedy next week with the Elvis impersonation. Please please please let Nathan sing! It would be a crime if only geek Dr. Horrible fans realized he actually has a singing voice.

Castle: Demons (S4.06)

October 25, 2011

Cute little Halloween episode but not my favorite. By the very conceit of  the possibility of a ghost being the murderer, which by the show’s own rules we know can’t possibly happen, we’re just trudging along with it until the reveal of the murderer. Some thoughts:

·         I am hating the whole Alexis/Ashley subplot now. It serves absolutely no purpose whatsoever to the show anymore.
·         This may be the writer in me overanalyzing, but I thought there was a huge missed opportunity with the murderer sending letters to the victim’s brother saying that it was “demons” that killed him. I would’ve loved it if it turned out those letter’s were the cop gone bad’s twisted confession to the victim’s brother trying to explain that it was his own personal demons that drove him from being a good cop into a full-fledged adulterer and murderer and that’s what he was alluding to in the letters. The remnants of the good cop left in him were trying to offer an explanation to the victim’s family before he completely turned evil.
·         Without the above, he looks like a complete idiot. His master plan to convince people the house was haunted so nobody would find the body was ridiculous considering how calm and collected a murderer he was, especially since the whole point of the plot was that the haunted house actually ATTRACTED people instead of keeping them away. At least show him becoming a little unhinged to explain his irrational actions and then being stuck to continue with them.
·         They also missed playing upon the irony that the cop hated the fact that his paramour’s husband was abusive to her – and yet, he ironically committed the worst form of abuse in the end by brutally taking her life.
·         I can’t believe I’m going to say this as a straight guy, but…  I HATED BECKETT’S FRIGGIN’ HAIRDO!!!! Aside from being unflattering and misusing one of her sexier assets, it pulled back the skin on her face and made her look like a bit of an old hag. LET MY PEOPLE’S HAIR GO!!!!
·         I’m not sure that the Ghostbusters references were as clever as they thought it was. Aside from being totally predictable, I’m not necessarily sure the fans Castle aims to attract would get such an old reference. I could be wrong on that, but it is a nearly 30 year old franchise.
·         Though also predictable, I loved it when Castle screamed like a little girl when the desiccated skeleton fell out on top of him J
·         They were really kind of riffing on the X-Files with Castle/Mulder as the believer and Beckett/Scully as the non-believer. Might’ve been more interesting character development if it were completely reversed. That would actually be believable  as Castle’s research and writing skills could be seen as making him completely skeptical whereas Beckett’s unresolved feelings about her mother could lead us to believe she’s a believer in the afterlife if only for her own personal comfort

I definitely enjoyed last week’s episode with the insurance investigator more. This was was cute but doesn’t hold up well to a little bit of scrutiny.

Castle: Eye of the Beholder (S4.05)

October 18, 2011

Great eps of Castle this week, back to the humor. Lots to love here:

·         A great guest star in Canadian actress Kristen Lehman as the hot insurance investigator/reformed art thief. She previously worked with Nathan Fillion on their short-lived series Drive.  Probably explains the tangible chemistry between them
·         BTW, did you recognize Michael “Worf” Dorn as Beckett’s psychiatrist?
·         Great bit where Castle does the stereotypical, only works on TV “kiss the girl to distract her from noticing partner’s shenanigans” – only for Beckett to completely blow it by yelling “WHAT?!”
·         Loved the bit where Castle demolished the museum stand to find the missing art and then completely wrecked the artist’s display as he and Beckett confronted her only to realize it  was her client and not her that was the murderer. The look on his face when he realizes he’s not only wrong but going to have to pay for the wrecked museum was priceless. And they followed it up in the tag scene too when he gets the bill! Nice line there about being able to pay his kid’s college tuition fee with it only for him to add “Good thing I’m rich.”
·         And a great last line as she exits stage right from our hot insurance investigator Serena as she informs Beckett “I don’t steal things that belong to other people.” Awwwwwww…..

Man, I’d love to see Lehman back as Serena. Not sure if it was intentional, but she’s the Catwoman to Castle’s Batman – the bad girl who does good who will always have romantic/sexual tension with the hero.  Interestingly, I just picked up the new Batman Arkham City game for my PS3 and the voice of Catwoman is played by…. Stana Katic! 

Castle: Kick the Ballistics (S4.04)

October 12, 2011

Beautiful episode. Loved that it dispensed with the comedy and was 100% serious all the way and it had a great crime story with lots of twists and turns. Sadly, the Asian guy couldn’t get together with the white chick or else she will die horribly. Just like it happens in real life. Really hit close to home there. ; )

Next week’s episode looks like it’s back to the comedy with the hot insurance investigator making the moves on Castle.

Castle: Heros & Villains (S4.02)

September 26, 2011

I really enjoyed last night’s Castle, even if they did go back to too much formula to the point where it could’ve been an episode from any other season. Still, a whole bunch of nice shoutouts to the now Disney-owned Marvel comics from Disney-owned ABC studios. Good commercial tie-in.

I also liked how the crime writer and cop involved ended up as mirror  images of Beckett and Castle. I think it was a bit of a convenient stretch to have Beckett be a comic book fan (as it was in an episode last season where she just happened to be into B & D conveniently) but otherwise it was a pretty good ep. I particularly liked the scene in the interrogation room where both Castle and Beckett realize from the crime writer’s answers that he is not the guilty part and this was all done through shared looks from the three actors involved and not the dialogue itself but how they delivered it. Good work from the guest star there as he had to carry the load in that scene. Nathan was good with the facial expressions there too, letting us know as an audience that he knows the guy is innocent.